What is life balance about?

A lot of people are looking for life balance to feel calm and grounded. Balance as a notion suggests a number of elements which have to be balanced — balance between something and something …  So, your life scale is balanced when your life in its great variety doesn’t make you feel that your heart or mind is being pulled too hard in any direction. Being balanced doesn’t mean that you devote equal amount of time and attention to different aspects of your life. Balanced means enough for you to feel in harmony with whatever requires your time and energy.

The elements in life that require balancing can be divided into two categories: internal and external. Sometimes, people focus on one more than the other.

For example, you may find that you focus on external things, like work, relationships, and activities, and that you pay very little attention to what is going on inside your heart and mind. On the other hand, you may find that you spend too much time being self reflective that makes you miss the experience of living.

You are balanced if you find balance not only between different life aspects but also within one aspect. Here’s the outline to help us better understand the beneficial components on both ends of each spectrum.

Internal (Mind, Heart, Health)

• Mind: Challenging yourself intellectually creating opportunities for your mind to rest
• Heart: Giving love receiving love
• Health: Eating, drinking, exercising properly vs. resting and treating yourself to some extra yummies

External (Work, Social, Family, Fun)

• Work: Pushing yourself to achieve goals vs. seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride
• Social: Satisfying your social desires taking time for yourself
• Family: Fulfilling your family responsibilities creating healthy boundaries
• Fun: Allocating time for things you enjoy doing vs. making sure you don’t overdo it

As you can see, both ends of each spectrum are actually positive; but if either side is taken to an extreme, something that is intended to be positive can end up being detrimental.

Steps to take to achieve life balance

If you feel pulled in any one direction and uneasy about it, these steps may help you get your life aligned:

1. Acknowledge.

Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting. Notice if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus, or if there are areas within each category that you would like to be more balanced.

2. Set Goals and Plan.

Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals.

3. Prepare.

What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan (fears, worries, doubts, negative self talk)? Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (For example: “Just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.

4. Empower and connect.

What do you need to remember in those times? What are things you can say to that self-sabotaging part of yourself? Be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it! Is there a person or a tactic you can use to keep yourself supported, motivated, and focused in those hard times? I highly recommend connecting and sharing your inner process with someone. Find someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments.

Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!